Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
