God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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