When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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