I wannas sexs uuuuu
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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