Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
