And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
