I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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