People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
