Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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