wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
please come you make the beer taste better
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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