I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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