Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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