i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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