y did u give ur computer a hand job?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
