Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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