I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
