i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
