getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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