I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
