Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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