Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
