It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
