I just cut my nipple shaving
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
