So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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