I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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