Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
