Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
