remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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