Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
