David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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