Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
