got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
