so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
