you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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