my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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