he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
