You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I party with great urgency now.
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