No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
