I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
