i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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