I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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