You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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