She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
