i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
