So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
