Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
