Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
