too bad you live with your parents still
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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