She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
