my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
