I don't remember. Are we still dating?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
