after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
